Close Encounter With Jaws Ends Love Story

Written by Rennie Hand

Can you remember the first time you saw Jaws? Was it you behind me checking your fluffy hair in the reflection of the movies poster window whilst queuing for the biggest film of the year? If it was then there’s no need for me to tell you what happened because you too would have heard the screams.

We were finally there, my mate Gary and me, after it seemed hours of waiting we were finally at the front of the queue. I could see my brother up ahead with his *date* They had been going out on and off for couple of months and as far as I knew he hadn’t had a snog let alone achieved second base. This was going to be her last chance he told me, that’s why he went in separate to the rest of us. Her name was Sonia and she happened to be our next-door neighbour. She was loud and crude but we never seemed to notice because she had two very appealing features, which especially endeared her to a fifteen-year-old lad like me.

Anyway I digress. As we were being shown our seats our eyes scanned the heads trying to spy the loving couple. Ah there they were, right on the balcony, in fact how could we miss them, two huge afro hairdo’s together, like two dandelions waiting for the wind to blow.

As the lights dimmed we snuck out the sweets we had smuggled in, a tradition that is still practiced to this day it seems. We had the usual, a couple of packs of Spanish Gold, an Amazin’ Raisin and a Bar 6. We excitedly munched our way through them while Pearl & Dean tried their best to warn us about a milk nicking Humphrey being about.

Finally the feature started. We sat there totally enthralled. Why didn’t they close the beach? My god don’t they know what’s out there? Luckily for Chief Brody help comes in the form of Matt Hooper an Oceanic expert. Expert? He doesn’t seem too bright to me, he’s just measured the bite range of on the poor girl, verified that the shark is huge and now he’s in the water diving a wrecked boat!

And that’s when it happened.

As Matt made his way underwater to investigate the boat, a terrifying scream pierced the silence accompanied by a fountain of popcorn that showered the seats below. It didn’t end there. It was so out of the blue that it made everyone jump and scream, me included. When we looked over to see the cause, the ushers were escorting out my brother and Sonia. Sonia wearing a face like thunder and my brother laughing so much he was fit to bust. When we got home he was there, still laughing about it. I managed to get out of him through the tears that apparently early on his date he had decided it wasn’t going anywhere so in his infinite wisdom he thought it would be funny to give her a little poke in the ribs at one of the scary bits.

We didn’t get much sleep that night. We just kept chuckling all night long. A great memory, and one I will cherish.